The blades of betrayal you thrust inside,
Twisting them to make you bleed,
Too used to the pain,
You turn & turn,
Not numb enough to let you sleep.
Your veins wreck,
The gust too strong,
The tears roll,
But not for long.
You twist & turn,
The hole too deep,
The blood flows,
But you don't weep.
Nothing left to cut you more,
The blades too blunt,
The wounds too sore.
No tears now,
No blood left to fall,
Just that inward crying,
The sharpest pain of them all.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Pursuit of Happiness
It is really common to hear that people are depressed or frustrated. Ask them why? and they would not know. This post is neither an answer to the problems nor a spiritual path to happiness, it is nothing more than an introspection:
We are often, consciously or unconsciously, governed by what the world thinks, what people have to say. Invariably we are brought up being told that we should study because our neighbour's son/daughter studies or studied and did well in life. Our sense of morality, success and failure are bent to understand that the opinions of everyone else are superior to ours, and they are the conclusive test of what we are in life.
Slowly, our own sense of thought, logic, morality, happiness, start to become what is thrust upon us by a collective whose identity is impossible to establish. Curiously enough, this collective comprises individuals whose idea of morality etc. is totally different from the community standards they project. My point, in summary, being that we live our lives the way 'they' want us to live it.
Day in and day out, our choices are determined by what people will say or what they will do. My question is: your life, your decisions, you face the consequences of your decisions, then why care about the people? The thing about people is that will always talk and they have a really short memory. They want to talk because they have nothing better to do. If you sit and do nothing, you are useless, if you go ahead and do something, they are just jealous. If dogs don't bark, what else will they do?
We live so much of our lives being what people want us to be that we forget who we really are and when we do things for other people we are bound to be frustrated. We can only excel or enjoy things when we do what we want to do. Our lives have gradually turned into an hypocrite pledge to satisfy others and the biggest problem is that you can never truly satisfy the people or the community standard, simply because there is none! Only when we define our life by what we want, there can be satisfaction, only then can we truly relate to that elated feeling called happiness.
"Ninty per cent of our lives are lived for other people and then we wonder why we aren't happy. The ten per cent is who we are, what defines us, what makes us happy."
You get to live once, live life KING size!
We are often, consciously or unconsciously, governed by what the world thinks, what people have to say. Invariably we are brought up being told that we should study because our neighbour's son/daughter studies or studied and did well in life. Our sense of morality, success and failure are bent to understand that the opinions of everyone else are superior to ours, and they are the conclusive test of what we are in life.
Slowly, our own sense of thought, logic, morality, happiness, start to become what is thrust upon us by a collective whose identity is impossible to establish. Curiously enough, this collective comprises individuals whose idea of morality etc. is totally different from the community standards they project. My point, in summary, being that we live our lives the way 'they' want us to live it.
Day in and day out, our choices are determined by what people will say or what they will do. My question is: your life, your decisions, you face the consequences of your decisions, then why care about the people? The thing about people is that will always talk and they have a really short memory. They want to talk because they have nothing better to do. If you sit and do nothing, you are useless, if you go ahead and do something, they are just jealous. If dogs don't bark, what else will they do?
We live so much of our lives being what people want us to be that we forget who we really are and when we do things for other people we are bound to be frustrated. We can only excel or enjoy things when we do what we want to do. Our lives have gradually turned into an hypocrite pledge to satisfy others and the biggest problem is that you can never truly satisfy the people or the community standard, simply because there is none! Only when we define our life by what we want, there can be satisfaction, only then can we truly relate to that elated feeling called happiness.
"Ninty per cent of our lives are lived for other people and then we wonder why we aren't happy. The ten per cent is who we are, what defines us, what makes us happy."
You get to live once, live life KING size!
Sunday, August 8, 2010
He Wasn't There
When the dice of fate roll,
Would you question the game; your God; or your future told?
When in a lifetime of joys, there are moments of sorrow,
Would you give up on him; to whom you prayed each day for a brighter tomorrow.
In the myriads of questions would you seek an answer,
Or let him guide you; your best adviser.
When your kingdom falls and you have no place,
Would you still seek shelter in his holy grace?
When the tides are high and slap your face,
Would you still praise him; who always made you win each race.
When you wonder wither the winds of destiny would turn,
Would you try and change them? Or in your heart will his image burn?
On the glorious road, down that bright aisle,
When all you won, with all smile,
Did you think of him, who got you there?
But you fought with him,
When the dice rolled, and he wasn't there.
Would you question the game; your God; or your future told?
When in a lifetime of joys, there are moments of sorrow,
Would you give up on him; to whom you prayed each day for a brighter tomorrow.
In the myriads of questions would you seek an answer,
Or let him guide you; your best adviser.
When your kingdom falls and you have no place,
Would you still seek shelter in his holy grace?
When the tides are high and slap your face,
Would you still praise him; who always made you win each race.
When you wonder wither the winds of destiny would turn,
Would you try and change them? Or in your heart will his image burn?
On the glorious road, down that bright aisle,
When all you won, with all smile,
Did you think of him, who got you there?
But you fought with him,
When the dice rolled, and he wasn't there.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Where Were You?
When I was laughing at jokes,
Rejoicing in my victories,
Smiling in happiness,
Where were you?
When I was tired to go on,
When I was smiling in grief,
Feeling everything was over,
Where were you?
When everything went wrong,
The world stood against me,
And none believed me,
Where were you?
When my tears were on the edge,
And I looked for a shoulder to cry on,
Where were you?
When time stood still,
People crushed my faith,
Tore me to pieces,
Where were you?
When I came face to face with myself,
Fighting a never ending war,
And I needed a negotiator,
Where were you?
When my dreams turned into nightmares,
My hopes shattered,
My insecurities doubled,
Fears strengthened,
Where were you?
When all made fun of me,
Laughed at my mistakes,
When I needed a friend,
Where were you?
When I was running away from life,
With no hopes and a million fears,
Where were you?
When I was looking for you all over,
And in my pursuit I fell down,
When I thought you would come to life me up,
Get me back on my feet again,
Where were you?
When all was over,
And I shed my last tear,
Drew a last breath,
Waiting for you to hold me,
Where were you?
Rejoicing in my victories,
Smiling in happiness,
Where were you?
When I was tired to go on,
When I was smiling in grief,
Feeling everything was over,
Where were you?
When everything went wrong,
The world stood against me,
And none believed me,
Where were you?
When my tears were on the edge,
And I looked for a shoulder to cry on,
Where were you?
When time stood still,
People crushed my faith,
Tore me to pieces,
Where were you?
When I came face to face with myself,
Fighting a never ending war,
And I needed a negotiator,
Where were you?
When my dreams turned into nightmares,
My hopes shattered,
My insecurities doubled,
Fears strengthened,
Where were you?
When all made fun of me,
Laughed at my mistakes,
When I needed a friend,
Where were you?
When I was running away from life,
With no hopes and a million fears,
Where were you?
When I was looking for you all over,
And in my pursuit I fell down,
When I thought you would come to life me up,
Get me back on my feet again,
Where were you?
When all was over,
And I shed my last tear,
Drew a last breath,
Waiting for you to hold me,
Where were you?
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Why India Deserves An Oscar
Bollywood has produced some exceptional, evergreen, and extremely content oriented movies in recent times. Lagaan, Black, Taare Zameen Par etc. but still we do not find a place in the Best Foreign Film category in the Oscars. It is rather unfortunate isn't it?
If one was ever to write a paper on Antonio Gramsci's theory of cultural hegemony, the Oscars are a prime example of how hegemony plays out in the real world. Why are we so crazy about an Oscar? Is recognition by the US all the Indians are dying for? Will that prove to be an acknowledgment that India has arrived at the world stage?
It is how the media plays it, how our minds are shaped by the use of the internet, television and newspapers. When one talks of going abroad, it is usually presumed to be the US. Why? There are so many other countries in the world. They have better cinema, better actors, better standards for judging awards, then why are we so determined to get an Oscar? Is it because it is the most fair system? Or because it is globally accepted as being the most prestigious? Well, neither of them is true.
We tend to blindly replicate the West in whatever fields we can. Our slavery and colonialism is not over yet. Welcome to India of the 21st century whose latest philosophy is "When in doubt, look west". I agree to some extent that there are many things that the west (I mean the US in the present context) has achieved and done better than we could. However, it is not the be all and end all of superior civilization. Have you ever reflected on the t.v. shows and movies produced in India? How many ladies in India are dressed in saris worth thousands and jewelery worth lakhs 24x7 working in the house and cleaning utensils? Or how many boys and girls in India meet on the streets and start singing songs and everyone starts dancing behind them? It is pure drama and nothing else. Then why don't we have the same critical reflection of the shows and movies produced abroad. Not everyone lives the same lifestyle like the ones we see on Desperate Housewives, or Baywatch, or How I Met Your Mother or American Pie. Everyone in the US is not stripping naked and having sex all the time with almost anyone. (And that by no means is the definition of being liberal. But I'll reserve more thoughts on being liberal for another post)
However, getting back to my point, why is an Oscar award so important to us? I think we have been carried away to a point that we are just mesmerized by whatever is happening in the United States. We want to do everything the way they do it. I personally have great faith in our cinema (Yes, we do have our shameful moments like Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag and Jaani Dushman etc.) but our award ceremonies are as good and as fair as any other. Personally, I am one of those who believe that Slumdog Millionaire was awarded Oscars as a propaganda to show Indians in a bad light(I am sure there are those who disagree), and therefore, I believe that the Oscars are not the epitome of fairness and ultimate touchstone of recognizing good cinema.
It is time we start having faith in what we do rather than just be chimps and copy the west or crave for their recognition. When thousands die in India everyday in the floods, riots, due to poverty, earthquakes, we never observe a minute of silence. But when thousands died in 9/11, there was one minute silence in India. God Bless America!
If one was ever to write a paper on Antonio Gramsci's theory of cultural hegemony, the Oscars are a prime example of how hegemony plays out in the real world. Why are we so crazy about an Oscar? Is recognition by the US all the Indians are dying for? Will that prove to be an acknowledgment that India has arrived at the world stage?
It is how the media plays it, how our minds are shaped by the use of the internet, television and newspapers. When one talks of going abroad, it is usually presumed to be the US. Why? There are so many other countries in the world. They have better cinema, better actors, better standards for judging awards, then why are we so determined to get an Oscar? Is it because it is the most fair system? Or because it is globally accepted as being the most prestigious? Well, neither of them is true.
We tend to blindly replicate the West in whatever fields we can. Our slavery and colonialism is not over yet. Welcome to India of the 21st century whose latest philosophy is "When in doubt, look west". I agree to some extent that there are many things that the west (I mean the US in the present context) has achieved and done better than we could. However, it is not the be all and end all of superior civilization. Have you ever reflected on the t.v. shows and movies produced in India? How many ladies in India are dressed in saris worth thousands and jewelery worth lakhs 24x7 working in the house and cleaning utensils? Or how many boys and girls in India meet on the streets and start singing songs and everyone starts dancing behind them? It is pure drama and nothing else. Then why don't we have the same critical reflection of the shows and movies produced abroad. Not everyone lives the same lifestyle like the ones we see on Desperate Housewives, or Baywatch, or How I Met Your Mother or American Pie. Everyone in the US is not stripping naked and having sex all the time with almost anyone. (And that by no means is the definition of being liberal. But I'll reserve more thoughts on being liberal for another post)
However, getting back to my point, why is an Oscar award so important to us? I think we have been carried away to a point that we are just mesmerized by whatever is happening in the United States. We want to do everything the way they do it. I personally have great faith in our cinema (Yes, we do have our shameful moments like Ram Gopal Verma ki Aag and Jaani Dushman etc.) but our award ceremonies are as good and as fair as any other. Personally, I am one of those who believe that Slumdog Millionaire was awarded Oscars as a propaganda to show Indians in a bad light(I am sure there are those who disagree), and therefore, I believe that the Oscars are not the epitome of fairness and ultimate touchstone of recognizing good cinema.
It is time we start having faith in what we do rather than just be chimps and copy the west or crave for their recognition. When thousands die in India everyday in the floods, riots, due to poverty, earthquakes, we never observe a minute of silence. But when thousands died in 9/11, there was one minute silence in India. God Bless America!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Change
A little worried it seems;
About mistakes made in past days,
A little more nervous;
Of the coming days.
A little stunned by people around,
A little more hurt by people on whom one counts.
Nor love, nor hate, nor faith answer today,
The questions on which life fades away.
A little boy, still wondering why the sky is blue,
Against a man on a quest to find the meaning of ‘true’,
Between them a teenager stuck;
Whom to fight for and on whom to give up?
When friends and foe seem all alike,
In shadows they play; in smiles they hide.
One looks back on everything learnt,
Wondering if it all should be burnt?
It is funny when it breaks; your idea of life.
When all you believed in, is in perpetual strife.
Then you search frantically for philosophies new;
But it is destiny who decides what in life is due.
Then why the wonder; why so much thought?
It is not for you to answer this great holy plot.
And when you learn this sacred truth,
Life would become more pleasant; a lot more beautiful to you.
About mistakes made in past days,
A little more nervous;
Of the coming days.
A little stunned by people around,
A little more hurt by people on whom one counts.
Nor love, nor hate, nor faith answer today,
The questions on which life fades away.
A little boy, still wondering why the sky is blue,
Against a man on a quest to find the meaning of ‘true’,
Between them a teenager stuck;
Whom to fight for and on whom to give up?
When friends and foe seem all alike,
In shadows they play; in smiles they hide.
One looks back on everything learnt,
Wondering if it all should be burnt?
It is funny when it breaks; your idea of life.
When all you believed in, is in perpetual strife.
Then you search frantically for philosophies new;
But it is destiny who decides what in life is due.
Then why the wonder; why so much thought?
It is not for you to answer this great holy plot.
And when you learn this sacred truth,
Life would become more pleasant; a lot more beautiful to you.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Our Obsession with Romanticism
"Those were the days". Day in and day out we here the phrase being chanted by different people referring in fondness to the various times gone by. Whether it be school, college, friends, events etc. Just as a thought, why are we so obsessed with romanticizing about the past(This has got nothing to do with the philosophy of history class). Right from the time when we start to relate events to ideas and start judging people in light of narrations from history books(Mughals were barbaric, violent, ruthless invaders and just wanted to loot the country), our impressionable minds are nurtured to believe that the past was very beautiful and that we can never live it again (The Golden Period). The question is: why do we want to live it again?
The first thing we realize or learn about life is its constant state of change, its dynamism. We are stuck in this constant yearning to recreate the past. Simple things like the games you played with friends, things you did in school, parties at college, or even old relationships. Somewhere down the line this romanticism obstructs us to accept the new, the present. We are too busy recreating the past and the present just goes by. Alumni from any institution always say, "things were very different when I was here"(Everyone is aware of the context these lines come up in); aren't they supposed to be? Should the institution just pause in time and be static while the world outside changes?
The best thing about memories is that you cannot relive them. The times you spent with your friends are very precious to you, but one has to accept that the sweetness of those memories can only continue as long as they are memories. If we could recreate everything, reunions would make people come together the same way. But the truth is that life has moved on and the sooner we accept the change the better it is. Because when we try to live our past lives in the present, things aren't the same anymore, (we aren't equals, someone has a better job, someone has more money, someone is married, someone is not etc. etc.) and the sweetness of those memories begins to wither. You land up asking yourself, "were we actually that happy then?".
Political parties, priests, advocates of cultural preservation argue that we are losing our culture. Well, as much as we should learn about our past, we have to embrace the present. Times have changed, and those cultural practices and dogmas cannot be followed any longer, simply because no one has the time. 7 day pujas are cut into 3 days, which also is quite long. The reason for such practices in old times was to create a certain kind of meditation and discipline in people. The only kind of education and means of governing the people was religion. No laws existed like they do now. We are taught these things in schools. Culture has not been lost, it has just changed form(certainly a lot of people would disagree), because the preconditions for its existence no longer exist.
Subconsciously we refuse what the present has to offer in our nostalgia of the past. (Bunty was your best friend then, but not any more). He won't understand and speak to you the same way. You cannot relate to him any longer because you two think very differently now and therefore, Sunny is closer to you than Bunty. This by no means is to say that we should forget old friends, it is just to make ourselves aware how in this constant struggle to recreate the past we miss out on so many new things.
Two points in time can never be exactly the same and we should cherish what came by, because not everyone is lucky enough to have such great memories.
The monotony of life is brushed aside with the unpredictability of the future, and when the future comes, like spring after a cold winter, it brings, but new flowers instead of the old.
The first thing we realize or learn about life is its constant state of change, its dynamism. We are stuck in this constant yearning to recreate the past. Simple things like the games you played with friends, things you did in school, parties at college, or even old relationships. Somewhere down the line this romanticism obstructs us to accept the new, the present. We are too busy recreating the past and the present just goes by. Alumni from any institution always say, "things were very different when I was here"(Everyone is aware of the context these lines come up in); aren't they supposed to be? Should the institution just pause in time and be static while the world outside changes?
The best thing about memories is that you cannot relive them. The times you spent with your friends are very precious to you, but one has to accept that the sweetness of those memories can only continue as long as they are memories. If we could recreate everything, reunions would make people come together the same way. But the truth is that life has moved on and the sooner we accept the change the better it is. Because when we try to live our past lives in the present, things aren't the same anymore, (we aren't equals, someone has a better job, someone has more money, someone is married, someone is not etc. etc.) and the sweetness of those memories begins to wither. You land up asking yourself, "were we actually that happy then?".
Political parties, priests, advocates of cultural preservation argue that we are losing our culture. Well, as much as we should learn about our past, we have to embrace the present. Times have changed, and those cultural practices and dogmas cannot be followed any longer, simply because no one has the time. 7 day pujas are cut into 3 days, which also is quite long. The reason for such practices in old times was to create a certain kind of meditation and discipline in people. The only kind of education and means of governing the people was religion. No laws existed like they do now. We are taught these things in schools. Culture has not been lost, it has just changed form(certainly a lot of people would disagree), because the preconditions for its existence no longer exist.
Subconsciously we refuse what the present has to offer in our nostalgia of the past. (Bunty was your best friend then, but not any more). He won't understand and speak to you the same way. You cannot relate to him any longer because you two think very differently now and therefore, Sunny is closer to you than Bunty. This by no means is to say that we should forget old friends, it is just to make ourselves aware how in this constant struggle to recreate the past we miss out on so many new things.
Two points in time can never be exactly the same and we should cherish what came by, because not everyone is lucky enough to have such great memories.
The monotony of life is brushed aside with the unpredictability of the future, and when the future comes, like spring after a cold winter, it brings, but new flowers instead of the old.
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